Chance...

I gave you a chance to show me what you have... I told you I was sick... fever strike me when I went out with my gfs two days ago... I guess I have caught a cold when I tried to run back to my office in the thunder storm afew days ago.... it starts raining very heavily when I went to the post office to buy some stamp.. it was pouring and there is alot of lighting... I'm afraid of lighting after hearing so many incident when people got strike by lighting... so I make a dash back to the office all soaking wet... when I msged you... you just told me to rest early... you never asked me why... I told you I drank and I have no idea should I take the panadol... no reply... the next day...I tried not to wait for your msg... but my heart is waiting... the next morning you msged me back that you dozed off to sleep because you are tipsy... I decided to leave you a msg in your msn... I was fine in the morning... after walking in and out of the sun... the fever came back... I thought maybe you did not recieve my msg.. or maybe you have recieved my msn... at least you could have called and asked me how am I feeling... did your fever still come back?, etc.. you did not msged me... till I msged you that my fever came back...only than you msged me back... disappointed... why should I make the first move?? I would be more happy if you have just randomly msged me to check on me...

Today... waited the whole day... no msged of concern... no one was at the msn the whole day... no idea where have you been... was surprise that one of my colleague called to checked on me.... it was sweet of him... but I guess no concern will be sweeter if it was from you... I'm not waiting any more... I guess my feeling is not just a blog... I'm a flesh and blood... do not wish to create chances any more... I guess by creating chance for you, I expected more from you and in the end.. maybe I will get hurt too... less hope, less hurt... let nature takes it cause... and let the LORD decide for me... taking a step backward and sat beside the road.... waiting ... I guess for now I will learn to walk without you by my side...prehaps I shall just sit down and wait till I'm ready to walk... i'm still too scared to know the answer at the end of the road...